“It’s going to cost us $1,500 to get the car fixed,” my wife lamented as she arrived home from the auto-repair shop. It was only 9:00 in the morning, but I suspected today was going to be one of those days. Normally this car repair would not be so bad, but I already had many costs–expected and unexpected. I had recently invested a hefty amount of money into a yearlong coaching program, knowing that my business was quickly nearing its slow season and was now feeling the impact of my decision. “Oh well, how much worse can it get” I said to myself, as I walked into my office to coach my first client of the day. In retrospect, I really wished I would have saved those famous last words for a later time.
Ten minutes after my first session had ended, one of my employees called and informed me she was quitting. She was a great trainer and to lose her unexpectedly drove me further into my financial debacle. I suddenly had 8 solid clients who had no trainer, and, as luck would have it, my other female trainers were all booked with no room for new clients! What was going on here? Was this universe’s sense of humor in response to my earlier question? I, for one, was not laughing.
Five hours later, yet another one of my trainers contacted me to tell that he had been assigned a 3-week military training out of state! Really? Now I was down 2 trainers and nearly 20 clients! What next? At this point, I was feeling a little helpless knowing that I was late on my rent, I had another payment due soon for my coaching service, the family car needed service, and I was entering my slow time.
I slowly closed my office door with a lump in my throat and a million negative thoughts flowing through my mind. I was in NO way applying the concepts and principles that I teach my clients on a daily basis. In fact, I was scared, uncertain, and a little resentful towards others and myself. “I’m in a funk,” I said out loud, even thought nobody was there to hear me. I felt impending doom and there was nowhere to run.
To top things off, I received another phone call from my wife telling me that our insurance was not covering a significant amount of our daughter’s diabetes supplies (she is a Type I diabetic). At this point, I simply laughed out loud and let out a few very choice words because I knew in that moment that I was living my own little day in hell! ?
The good news for me is that I am not alone. I guarantee you have had similar days and much worse in your life, am I right? Have you ever felt like you were getting doggy-piled by life? Have you ever had a bad day, week, or year and asked yourself, “why?” Why do you have to experience this? It’s a great question and one worth looking into.
Today I want to give you 3 simple questions that you can ask yourself when your next day in hell strikes.
Question #1: What is life trying to teach me in this moment?
This one may feel impossible to answer in the moment because of frustration and anxiety. If this is the case, I have a secret for you. Get up from wherever you are standing and walk away! Walk away to a different setting for at least 5-10 minutes where you will be undisturbed and where you can just let you mind relax and reset. After you feel a little more settled, ask yourself the question, “What is life trying to teach me here?” I will make you a promise right here and no that if you ask this question sincerely and without pre-conceived notions, you will be granted an answer. It may not be the answer that you like, but it will be the answer that you need in the moment.
In my personal example, I learned that I do have some control of certain areas of my financial life, and I do not have control of other areas like my car! My take home lesson was that I was glad that I had adequate savings and that I had been wise in investing and saving my money up to this point. It gave me a strong reminder to spend and save appropriately.
It also taught me that life does not end when things go south. It taught me that things are MEANT to go south, and I can choose to bitch and moan about it, or I can sit back, laugh at the situation, and learn from the lesson that life is so beautifully teaching me.
Question #2: What needs to change in my life?
When I have a day from hell, my first reaction is to blame life, and, more specifically, external circumstances. Have you ever been here? Of course you have! We are human beings, and we reflectively want to resist pain in our lives. The problem with resistance is COMPLACENCY! When we resist a situation, we typically find ourselves in a state of blame, and we don’t see the lessons that life is trying to teach us. In this state, it is impossible to change, and it is impossible to grow as a human being.
Here’s a better solution. If you sincerely asked question #1, you will no doubt KNOW what needs to change in your life, whether it be physical, mental, or emotional. In my case, I realized that I should stop viewing “bad days” as bad days. Yes, they are uncomfortable, but instead of running from them, I learned that I had the opportunity to think about life differently. My new way of thinking is so much lighter because I am not resisting anymore. Thinking “life happens” is so much easier than “life is so unfair!”
Is life asking you to re-route? Is it asking you to try something different, think differently, or act differently? Only YOU can answer these deep introspective questions, and I trust that you will!
Question #3: What needs to stay the same in my life?
I know, I know, this may seem contradictory to question #2, but I assure you that it is powerful! How many times have you had a day from hell, and you reflectively start changing things around you because “obviously things are not working”? I see this with nutrition goals all the time! “I am going to eat better” turns into, “dammit, I fell off the wagon,” which, then, turns into “I think my new diet is too strict, so I am going to scrap it for now.”
Now let’s be real here; it was NOT your new way of eating, it was just a bad day! This was not a sign from God that your plan was not working! What I am asking for here is context! When you have a bad day or fall off the wagon it does not necessarily mean that you have to abandon your goals and your battle plan! Now, if you keep having the same problem over and over again, then it is time to jump ship. But so often I find my clients and myself jumping ship when the ship is heading in the right direction! Consistency and persistence are virtues when (and only when) you are heading in the right direction.
Well, there you have it my friends! I want you to honestly ask yourself these three powerful questions the next time you find yourself in hell! Enjoy the process and please let me know how it goes! In fact, please comment below! Give me your latest day in hell; tell me how you reacted to it, and how you are going to react in the future.
Life is Good!
Griff