Picture this: You’re walking down the street with your kids, laughing as you look at the clouds in the sky and playfully arguing what they look like.  “It looks like a hippo,” screams your little one.  “No, no, it looks more like bear,” retorts your oldest.  Amid their laughter, you think to yourself, “Man, I am a good parent! Look at this . . . life is good!”

Suddenly, out of the corner of your eye, you spot a distressed couple getting into a verbal fight.  Explicit language begins to fly as you rush over to cover yours kids ears.  “Let’s get out of here,” you mutter as you hurriedly flee the scene.  In a state of utter disgust, you utter, “Man, people have no consideration these days.”

The next day, you decide to take your kids to the county fair.  “I hope we can avoid those filthy mouths today,” you say to your kids.  As you approach the fairgrounds, you instantly notice the powerful fragrance of food in the air.  “Yum!  Churros! It so reminds me of my childhood,” you say out loud.  As you get closer to the fair, you feel your arms being tugged, and your ears being filled with the sound of your kids’ voices.  “Can we get a churro, Mommy? PLEASE!” After offering the parental “no” a few times, you give in.  “Thank you mommy; you’re the best!”

After you purchase the churros, you find a shady spot under a tree and take a seat.  While enjoying your sweet indulgence, you begin to observe another mother and her obese 8-year old child enjoying the fair.  A smile appears on your face as you observe the playful mother turning a stick of cotton candy into a pretend dive-bombing airplane.  “Shoot em’ down Johnny; Shoot down the bad guys.”  You continue to smile with affection as the mother targets the cotton candy into her son’s mouth.  “Mission accomplished! Well done, soldier,” as the mother salutes her son.  Again, you smile and think to yourself, “How adorable is that?”

 Memes & Moral Equivalency

 

Have you ever stopped and wondered why we get so darn indignant about certain things such as a filthy mouth, and, yet, we let other questionable behaviors fly?  Why are we so quick to judge certain things as “bad” and just as quick to label something else as “good”?  Why do we get so upset when somebody uses his or her filthy mouth, but we smile with affection when a mother is feeding her obese son cotton candy?

“Oh, come on, Griff, are you really trying to draw a moral equivalency between these two scenarios?”  Yup! I certainly am!  In fact, when you really think about it, is the latter behavior not just as offensive as the former?  In my opinion, the behavior of the well-meaning mother is FAR worse than our foul-mouthed couple, and I can guarantee you that the consequences will reach much farther in the life of this child.

Again, I ask the question: “Why do we as a society scorn one behavior and glorify the other?  Are we not living a double standard here?”  I will answer these questions boldly with one phrase: We as a society conform to cultural memes and beliefs.  What is a meme?  The best definition that I know of comes from Richard Brodie’s Virus Of The Mind, in which he states, “A meme is a thought, belief or attitude that subtly or aggressively influences human behavior.”  He continues to liken a meme to a virus.  Like a virus, a meme is transmitted to other people, except that it is transmitted subconsciously rather than physically.

We see cultural memes all over the place.  We see thousands of branded marketing messages uttered by big retain chains.  For example, some popular memes include, “I’m Lovin’ it,” and “Save Money. Live Better.”  You already know where those come from without me saying a thing.  But what about BEHAVIORAL memes?  What behaviors do we (as a society) deem to be good, and what behaviors do we deem to be bad?

The above scenarios are perfect examples of moral equivalences. Specifically, we are quick to judge the cussing couple as “inconsiderate people displaying base behavior in public.”   But what about the mother who is pedaling cotton candy to her already obese 8-year old?  Is this moral?  I could write you an entire essay about how this mother’s behavior will affect this kids life for the rest of his life.  And when I say affect his life, I mean ALL areas of his life, including :

-Physically

-Emotionally

-Mentally

-Spiritually

-Socially

-Professionally

-Intimately

-Personally

 

In short, this mother is feeding a sugar addiction that has DEVASTATING effects on her son, but because we, as a society, have not deemed this behavior as offensive or destructive, we don’t think anything of it.  Think about it: Even if you consciously objected to this type of behavior, would you say anything?  Of course not!  Why?  Because you live in a tightly wound, politically correct culture.

Instead we throw around seemingly compassionate memes such as, “Just love yourself for who you are,” which may sound great on the surface, but ultimately it is these types of culturally accepted memes that enable MORE self-destructive behaviors!  Why?  Because our memes have spoken, dammit, and we tend not to question our memes because they have become  our “truths.”

 

Questioning Your Memes!

Memes can be great if they serve you!  For example, let’s say that you foster a meme (a thought, attitude of belief) that says, “I make time for exercise.”  In this case, your “truth” is getting your butt out of bed and into the gym!  If, on the other hand, you foster a meme that says, “I don’t have time,” you will stay in bed because you “need” the extra sleep from being so busy.  In either case, we have to reconcile ourselves with one very important and often overlooked truth:

 

Belief=Action

ALWAYS!

This is not just an opinion; it’s an absolute LAW!  We only act on those things that we believe in.  So, if we are carting around beliefs and memes in our head that tell us “eating healthy is boring” or “exercise takes too long,” we act on those beliefs by not doing them!  The bad news is that we will continue this destructive path until we bring a very important element into our conscious minds:

 

AWARENESS

 

The only way we can change our habits is to first become AWARE of our limiting beliefs and memes.  How you ask? The next time you hear a meme flowing through your brain saying, “I deserve my treats because I work so hard,” become aware of your internal dialogue.  Literally stop, and say to yourself, “There I go again. I am making that same excuse again and every time I do, I end up eating much more that I had planned.”

 

Re-Defining “Extremism”

Ok, I get it, I eat healthier than the average person, but I cannot tell you how many times my friends, family, clients, and other peers have called me “extreme.” So be it!  If eating real foods is extreme, I am guilty as charged.  If taking care of my body and mind is extreme, then give me my life sentence right now!

But I must ask you: What about the nutritional “norm” of today?  Did you know that 70% of the American diet as it stands right now is processed?  The only reason that I am considered extreme is because I go against the cultural memes of what is NORMAL!

Well I hate to tell ya, but I am not interested in being normal if normal means heart attack, low functionality, and terrible quality of life!  I am interested in living a life of passion, energy, and adventure, and the only way that I will ever accomplish that is by guarding my mind from the “norms” of society.

 

Be WEIRD!

Six Steps To UNLEARN “Normal”

 

Step #1: Be honest with yourself, and find ONE (and only one) area of your life that you are not satisfied with.  To get you started check the following areas:

-Physical

-Emotional

-Mental

-Spiritual

 

Step #2: Acknowledge your limiting belief and get it on paper

It is easy for your EGO to step in at this step and hold tightly to your old belief, but don’t let it!  It’s okay to be imperfect, so let’s just admit it to ourselves so that we can take the next step, deal?  Once you find it, write it down! Remember, we cannot be fully aware with getting your belief out into the open!

 

Step #3: Write down 10 reasons why this belief is causing you PAIN!  For example, if you hold the belief that says, “I don’t have time to exercise” you could write:

“I can’t stand looking at myself in the mirror, especially when I am naked”

“I always feel tired”

“I feel older than I am”

“My self-esteem is battered and bruised . . . I am embarrassed by in inaction”

 

Step #4: Replace your old belief with a belief that will bring you PLEASURE!  Using the example above you could write:

 

“I feel in control when I exercise”

“I notice that my energy goes up on the days that I exercise”

“I love what exercise does for my body both physically and mentally”

“It’s easy to love myself when I practice self-control”

“When I put myself first I show my commitment to my loved ones”

Be sure to REPEAT these multiple times throughout the day for at least 2 MONTHS!  It will take at least this long to completely override your old limiting beliefs!

Step #5:  Make a simple plan and take ACTION!

This will require you to make a simple game plan.  For example, look at your calendar for next week and block out the days and times that you plan to exercise.  Get your clothes out, prepare mentally, and be sure to follow through!  It is in the DOING that you will cement your resolve and inspire real change.

 

Step #6:  Use your left-brain logic to talk yourself in to action!

It does not make sense that a mother would be offended by 4-letter words but not by a mother feeding her 8-year-old obese boy fed cotton candy!  We know logically that this does not make sense because the latter is just as offensive in ALL areas!  This final step is a continual practice.  Whenever you find yourself “going with the flow” of cultural norms, stop and challenge yourself.  Ask yourself logically if your beliefs make sense, or if you are simply following conventional wisdom.  You will often find that your beliefs are not really yours, but those of your culture!

 

Well, there you have it, my friends!  Take these 6 steps and apply them to your life right NOW! Don’t wait!  You are worth it, and you are more than capable of making a change right here and now.  Enjoy your journey and remember . . .

 

Life is Good!

 

Griff